The social media trap

Two recent stories in Australian media shocked me to my core. Two 12-year-olds in different states took their own lives after being bullied at school. 

Hours before suicide ultimately ended her life, Ella Catley-Crawford, was the victim of a cruel catfishing scheme. A young netballer, she was described by her family as “bright and quirky”. In a post she made to TikTok hours before she took her life, she wrote, “One day you’ll never see me again.” While many friends reached out with love and support, it is unclear whether she saw those messages. Ella is not the only one to suffer this fate. Charlotte O’Brien also took her own life following school bullying.  

These deaths have led to a groundbreaking social media summit hosted jointly by the South Australian and New South Wales governments. South Australian Premier Peter Malinauskas, who attended the summit alongside psychologists, parents groups, policy makers and academics, has been a vocal advocate of raising the age of access to social media to 16.

A number of advocacy groups have risen to address the issues surrounding teenage mental health when it comes to social media. Australian Radio personality Michael “Wippa” Wipfli is the co-founder of an organisation called 36 Months and is petitioning to raise the social media age limit by 36 months from 13 to 16. With more than 75,000 signatures, the group was able to present the petition to the Australian government. 

The Molly Rose Foundation, started in the UK after the death of 14-year-old Molly Russell, found that only two major social media platforms passed a test designed to see if they would remove 95 per cent of harmful material—including suicide and self-harm content. Most companies, including those owned by Meta (Facebook, Instagram), failed, sometimes removing less than one per cent of such material. 

As a parent of young children myself, I’m anxious about how my wife and I will parent as our children get older and start to engage with technology and social media. When they do, they may encounter hate and bullying and will have to manage their own mental health in a world that seems out of control. 

“The flood of information, ethical dilemmas and social conflicts presented through social media are challenging for adults to navigate; even more so for children who do not have the cognitive capacity to navigate these mature situations,” said Mikaela Matthes, a psychologist and counselling lecturer at Avondale University who specialises in children and adolescents.

According to psychologist and author Jonathan Haidt in The Anxious Generation, society has moved toward being more risk-averse with children in the real world but gives them essentially free reign online.

Haidt goes on to claim that there are key links that can be made between the declining mental health of teenagers and the rise of smartphones and social media. He told 60 Minutes in an interview that mental health among teenagers spiralled globally due to something that happened in the early 2010s. 

“We have an international epidemic of depression, anxiety, self-harm and suicide,” he said. “The only theory on the table for why you’d have a global change is the massive change in their daily lives when they adopted a phone-based childhood based on having a smartphone, the front facing camera, social media and high-speed internet.

“They spend more time on it and they’re much more harmed by it.”

So why does the problem seem to be worse among teenagers? 

Part of the problem is that teenage brains haven’t finished growing. 

“In young brains, the prefrontal cortex is still developing, which means children still need guidance to think critically, make informed decisions and develop their identity,” said Matthes. “The prefrontal cortex helps us regulate our emotional response to social rewards; therefore, children are more at risk of becoming addicted to the social validation from engaging online as their brains cannot regulate the rush of ‘happy hormones’ (like dopamine) from getting a ‘like’ online. Children are also more at risk because without as strong a sense of self as an adult might have, they are less able to critically analyse the feedback they are getting from online interaction.”

Young people are also becoming addicted to small dopamine hits and are having trouble diverting their attention from ever-present screens. 

Matthes reports seeing an increase in indicators of phone-based addiction even in primary-school-aged children, “especially withdrawal symptoms such as emotional dysregulation when unable to use their device.”

“I see social media exacerbating feelings of loneliness and struggles with self-esteem in young people,” said Matthes.

“Another significant issue I encounter is that children are not equipped to navigate social conflict online. They are still learning to do this in-person, so the issue of social media adds another challenging context to navigate.

“It can be hard for an adult to make sense of why a friend would not reply even though they can see they are ‘online’; it is even more difficult for a child to understand all the possible reasons for this and not to just experience it as a rejection.

“Another issue is that there is limited ‘off time’ for young people. Where once an issue at school would have to wait until everyone returned the next day, the conflict can be continued and usually escalated online, with even adults getting involved online at times. This both exposes young people to prolonged stress but also, when adults step in, it does not teach them what to do themselves.”

These are issues that are present in normal, run-of-the-mill social media usage but when hostility and deliberate targeting is involved, as is often the case with teenagers who resort to suicide, then things can get out of control really quickly. 

“The issue with cyber-bullying is that due to the permanency of what is shared on the internet and the ability for one image or comment to be shared repeatedly and rapidly, the event only needs to occur once for it to cause ongoing harm,” said Matthes.

“Education is again paramount. Teaching children and parents what cyber-bullying is, and how to report it is important. Also teaching children empathy, social skills and conflict resolution skills are preventative, in terms of building positive cultures and positive relationships among children.”

The good news is parents can be part of the solution.

“Children spell ‘love’ as ‘T-I-M-E’, which means we as parents need to invest quality time with them,” said Pastor Daron Pratt, school chaplain and passionate advocate for children.

“We earn the right to speak into our child’s life at the age of 16 if we have built a good connection with them in the years leading up to that age. Strong connection creates the ability to have the difficult conversations later in life.”

“When it comes to pornography, online bullying, sexting, catfishing, sextortion, we need to have those conversations with our child before they get their smartphone. This begins with you turning your phone off and putting it down as well.”

Being part of a faith community can also help. 

“Jonathon Haidt’s research found that kids who are embedded in faith-based communities do better,” said Pratt. “They are less anxious and depressed because faith-based communities naturally provide good boundaries and guardrails for our children.”  

While not all health professionals are in agreement with proposed bans, one thing is clear: social media is something that needs to be handled with care and responsibility and social media companies can’t be trusted to self-regulate. Teenagers need time and help navigating these difficult spaces as their brains develop. Parents, teachers and even young people need more education and support when it comes to understanding the dangers and the opportunities of social media.  

Jarrod Stackelroth is the editor of the Australia/New Zealand edition of Signs of the Times and Adventist Record.

To learn more about depression and suicide, visit Beyond Blue.

For crisis support or suicide prevention, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 (AU), 0800 543 354 (NZ), 1543 (Fiji), 3260011 (PNG) or Lifeline’s equivalent in your local country.