Change for the better

Change is an inevitable part of life. Whether you accept it or not, it will happen. Change isn’t intrinsically a negative thing but the toughest part about it usually is how we process it. Flexibility—the ability to accommodate change—is touted as a virtue by many, especially those into self-help, but learning to develop this trait can take time.

moving to Singapore

The first time I experienced significant change was when my family and I moved from the Philippines to Singapore. Being four years old, I took the change as well as any small child might have and expressed it appropriately. That is, by crying until my eyes were red and puffy. As a child, I couldn’t grasp that we had moved for a better future. It was a brand-new environment, everyone spoke different languages and, worst of all, I didn’t understand what was going on. Although I eventually became used to the culture, I believe this was the start of my inherent dislike of change.

moving to Australia

A few years later, my family moved to Australia thanks to another job offer. I took the change as well as the last one. Like Singapore, I learned how to acclimatise. It took a while to overcome the culture shock, but I was soon getting along with some of my fellow students. Then I switched schools—again—forcing me to repeat the process of learning how to blend in. The same process repeated until I was finally enrolled in a private Christian school where I stayed until my high school graduation. The whole experience was unpleasant and led me to withdraw from others somewhat. The concept of change had been cemented in my mind as an enemy to be feared.

why is change so scary?

Change is a daunting experience. The future is, for the most part, unknown. If we were to count the number of choices we make every day, we would be easily overwhelmed, and even if we did know them, we wouldn’t be able to measure the ripple effect they have on our lives. Small choices can trigger big changes while seemingly giant obstacles often make little impact in the grand scheme of things. Our tomorrow is always in flux, which is why change can be terrifying.

After I graduated from high school, I felt a sense of loss from leaving a status quo I had grown comfortable in. I hadn’t yet decided what I wanted to do in life, nor did I have any concrete plans. A quick look at my final grades showed that I was proficient in English—contrary to my expectations of excelling in the arts. Deciding to capitalise on this unexpected strength, I devoted myself to studying literature, writing and editing. Enrolling myself in a university that taught those subjects, I discovered a talent I never realised I had.

Small choices can trigger big changes while seemingly giant obstacles often make little impact in the grand scheme of things

As I began to enjoy university life, I realised that perhaps change isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. With a spring in my step, I joined a club to improve my social skills and come out of my introverted shell. I attended orientations, talked to club supervisors on open days, and eventually settled on a club that matched my interests and schedule. The new sense of freedom was invigorating. This was it. I was finally able to create change on my own terms. It was time for me to make the most out of it. Then came the pandemic.

creatures of habit

Humans are creatures of habit. We regularly create routines for ourselves whether we realise it or not. From the moment we wake up, we do the same things we’ve always done, whether it’s going to school, to work, walking the dog, etc. Some people even write down their plans to ensure they don’t skip anything. We often see the same sights every day and unforeseen disruptions (road works or waking up late) can rattle us—some of us more than others. We feel a sense of safety and comfort from following prescribed patterns and familiar motions. There’s nothing wrong with habits that help us go through life but, if things stay the same forever, we risk getting stuck in a rut.

stuck at home

As an introvert, the switch to a study-from-home routine seemed ideal to me. While I was disappointed at not being able to participate in club activities, I wasn’t against studying from home, especially if it meant I could sleep in. A few months later I realised what a horrible situation I was in. To put it lightly, I regressed to my former habits.

To get out of my rut, I began a habit of regularly reading my Bible. Going through the book of Proverbs, a particular verse stood out to me: “A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgement” (Proverbs 16:1). While the context of the verse spoke of a man who willingly shut himself off from others, it warned against the danger of a lack of social interaction.

Change might be unpleasant, but a lack of change leads to stagnation

While I wasn’t exactly staying indoors by my own discretion, the effects warned in the verse were being felt. My mental health started to decline from being stuck in the same routine almost every day. I learned a lesson that proved a bitter pill to swallow. Change might be unpleasant, but a lack of change leads to stagnation. After what felt like an eternity of repeating the same rote schedule, I found myself unprepared for the next big change: returning to society in a post-pandemic world.

a change in direction

After the pandemic, I found that my social skills had degraded. After much anxiety, I applied for a position as a casual worker at a human resource agency to remedy this issue and worked for a few warehouses for a while. Although I eventually quit, I was indeed able to start socialising again, though not to a level I was satisfied with. Roughly a year-and-a-half after the lockdowns ended, I graduated from university, where I found myself at a loss as to where to go next. As most of my tertiary education had me learning from home, I lacked two things I desperately needed: connections and social skills. It was while I was at a loss when an unexpected opportunity showed up.

My parents found out that the Australian government—spurred by a lack of workers—was offering to pay tuition fees for educational courses that would lead to blue-collar work in multiple industries. Deciding it was better than doing nothing, I enrolled in a cabinet-making course; a big step out of my comfort zone due to my dislike of physical labour and maths. Surprisingly, I found the course satisfying despite having to lift heavy amounts of wood and constantly measuring what to cut, and it set me on a path to form the connections and social skills I missed out on forming during the pandemic. It reminds me of something I read during lockdown: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11; NKJV). A reminder that God always has the best in store for us in His mind, even if it means steering us in a direction that we’ve never thought to walk down upon.

change is inevitable—and that’s no bad thing

Change is an inevitable part of life. Whether you accept it or not, it will always happen. Instead of fearing the future, try and look for opportunities. Some will come right to you while others will need to be sought after. While I can’t say that I’ve developed a completely flexible mindset that will help me adapt to any situation, I’ve learned not to fully deny change in my life. It took me a while before I could accept this, but when I did, I found myself feeling more fulfilled than when I clung to the familiar and consistent. A world of opportunities unfolded before me, one that I would have never had the privilege to partake in had I decided to stick to what I knew. I encourage you today to take a step outside of your comfort zone, even if it’s just to accommodate a tiny change. You’ll never know what you’re missing out on until you do.